hello. Labels: my love life
guess what. this whole week, i've been crying every morning when i wake up.
since my bed is beside the window, i wake up looking up to the brances and leaves covering the blue sky and thick fluffy white clouds. to see a a new day to live with a fact that he is still not mine, i pull under the covers and start crying to myself.
usually, i grab my alarm clock to see what time i woke up. but this whole week, the routine has changed. -_-" goshh. this is affecting me real bad.
at times, i'll talk to myself.. i'll feel better if i move on. i suppose so. but i don't wanna move on.
"WHERE EVER YOU GO, WHATEVER YOU DO,
I WILL BE RIGHT HERE WAITING FO YOU,
WHATEVER IT TAKES, OR HOW MY HEART BREAKS,
I WILL BE RIGHT HERE WAITING FO YOU.."
i keep singing that bar to myself. sometimes tears accompany me along the melody.
why am i doing this?
he's got his own problems that he doesn't tell me. he's got a gf.
what am i doing? i'm loving him. but loving him is creating another whole problem to him. shud i go with the saying, "if you love him, let him go. if you're meant to be, one fine day, you'll meet again" or should i just hold on to the tiniest hope i have?
oh gosh, as complicating as it gets. nothing hurts more than this. i don't know what to do. i keep looking out the window. i keep hiding under the covers. i keep talking to myself. i keep doing things i know i am not suppose to. this whole thing is really affecting me badly.
it gets worst when i viewed his myspace pics and found a new pic of him and her. the caption on it welled tears in my eyes.
i love him. he loves her. she loves him.
now, where do i stand? is there anybody out there who can predict what will happen soon? is there anybody who can take away this pain and make my life a living peace?
i guess no. this is life and i've gotta face it. i've put myself in this situation, its only fair i go through it.
i've said i'll wait fo him. i will.
yes, if he can do this to his gf, he can do this to me too. but there is nothing that you think you've consider that i have not.
its not fair. i made things unfair. so, this is what i get.
gosh. seriously, this really is heartbreaking. i've been letting out heavy sighs all day long. no joke.
dy, if you're happy with her.. do tell me. if being with her makes you happy. den be it. u've got problems of ur own, i don't wanna add to it..
but, i'll still be waiting fo you. only you.
i love you tubs and buckets. *huggiessmooches*
LOVE
`nadiah
xo
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