`Weeeeee! Well, here i am after a million zillion seconds of not updating! LOL! Well, im currently in Queenstown Community Library Multimedia section. `Ok. Lets get this straight. Whoever is this "fuckQ" that has been tagging at my tagboard is realli pissing me off. She claims to be my friend but all of my friends knows that i'm the kinda person who is straight-forward and i detest people who beat around the bush. So, from now on. Whatever he/she wanna type, so be it alright? And if 'fuckQ' happens to be reading this, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do a big favour and just never visit this blog ever agen. i'll really appreciate it!! really, reallu, really appreciate it ! ! ! ! `As for Myztikal. Now, who is this "help" & "tagger" tagging on my tagboaRd?!?!?!?! PLEASE STATE DOWN YOU EMAIL AT LEAST IF YOU DON'T WANT TO STATE YOUR REAL NAME OR A NICK NAME THAT I KNOW!uRgh! Stoopid sakk! Now, this "help" is asking me to help Myz. What?? HELP MYZ?? Common' he posted in his blog not to talk things out with him. if that's what he wants then that's what he gets for hurting me so much. Look, its not that i dun wanna help but its that everytime i do help, it will all bckfire on ME! He won't even listen to me. Well, don't try telling me "dun give up" well, then you try helping him out then if you think i am not doing good. I tried helping him once and he replied like as if he has all the help he needed. He doesn't need any help from me at all. ! Its proven on his tagboard. He is always using words to cover his actions. Yes, i admit. Yes, i did broke his heart but why are you all looking at THAT POINT ONLY!? Ya'll don't know how much i've been hurt by him.! Its unimaginable! My huneys knows how much it hurts. Especially Syalique & Shaniz. They were always there for me. They were the one who woke me up from his evil spell. i was helpless without them! Now, that i've moved on. I did tried to make frens with him still. I did try to talk things out with him but all that he ever did was.... NOTHING! He, himself told you that he is a damn bloody coward! What am i to do about it? He doesn't wanna face reality. What can i do? I can't change his mind-cep. Neither can you.! So, please just stop asking me to help him cause it'll just backfires on me and stress me out. Which in the end result in annoying me. FOR THE LAST TIME IF MYZTIKAL IS READING THIS: "YOU ARE FORGIVEN" for God's Sake would you please stop saying zillions of sorry-s to me!!!! Told you, NEVER repeat your words.! ` My brother? He's sentence is postpone to 2nd August.. . Wahlao. medical report still not in! How to close case? Haiyahh! So troublesome. This Singapore Law nowadays. . . `Lets now talk about me!Wee hee. Had a great burfdae celebration last few weeks. I am still surprise that i am still getting birthday presents from some parties. LOL!!! Haha. Lucky me i say! Weeha! `Wookey. Guess i better get going. Take care aite all of you? MISS EU ASHIK DARLING! XoXo Serenade
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Ola! Hey, in three more days, i'm 14! Ohmigod. I'm growing old. . hahakx! Well, i'm just kinda bored here. My sickness isn't getting any better. Its still the wae it is a month ago. ! uRh!! a month!?!? Tatz fuckin stoopid! I myself don't know how i could ever put up with it!! Well, of course at this point of time. I'm stucked home with my mum and my little brother. Urh!! Gawd dammit. This is the worst sickness i've ever had mann! Even chicken pox wasn't this bad!! Well, yarh it was for 2 months but it wasn't this bad! I could still go to sleep. Still taste wadever i eat. . This?? Na'ah!! Its fuckin hard for me to go to bed and everything i eat either taste bitter or i'll vomit it out. Haiz. Guys, if ya reading this. . please do me a big favour. No, its not tagg. If u do tagg it'll be better yarh! But this favour is, PLEASE PRAY THAT I'LL GET BETTER SOON! ArGhh! Haha! Wokie, I have just finished my art. Not literally the whole thing but last week's work is finally done. I've drawn and coloured 10 birds!! Woo Hoo! Yeabah~. Well, this time round. . .i need to do some colouring. Cross-hatching, circular strokes and straight strokes in 3 different colours of primary and secondary respectively. . quiet easy huh? Yea. So, i guess i'll be doing that later on the day. Mebe after my nap? Yah. After my noon nap, i'll work on it. Suppose to be presenting my Malay Project today but since i'm still sick. I didn't want Ilmiah to get my sickness too so i stayed home. Doing her a favour. AGAIN! haha!! Well, i'd like to ask forgiveness from Jannah & Aisyah kae? Coz i cnt be der to present the project. But, i'll be there with out softvopy work kay gerls? Sorie!! My home econs work . .DONE! Finish ! ! But sadly i can't hand it in today. Not in school mahh!! Some more, today got Tuition Programme but i won't be there AGAIN! HAHA! Lame sial. Miss my tutee siak! HUmph!! Miss her! Wonder how she has been doing for her studies. Newaez, she is realli sweet. Last term, it was raining cats and dogs and i didn't have an umbrella so but she does. So, i sent her home cause she was afraid to go home alone in the rain and she wanted to lend me her umbrella so i sent her back home. Unfortunately, no one was home so, we just sat outside the corridor. Then there was this bunch of mat-mats. She knows them . Haha! She is onli 11 ! Those guys were like 16? 17? They were her brother's fren. They asked my tutee who i was and she said i was her tutor and that i had a boyfriend and she said do not disturb me or she'll tell her mother and brother. Then they teased her so, i stopped my tutee and simply ask her to be quiet. She listened. The guys kept on asking abt me and talking to me. Then, after an hour waiting for her mum. Her mum arrived home. She told her mum abt the guys and she said that i realli had to go home because it was raining heavily and she told her mum that she lend me her umbrella. Her mum was looking pleased. Her mum allowed. Then, my tutee and her elder brother, sent me to Tiong Bahru MRT. Haha. Wasn't that sweet of her to do that ? ? Lurvee her to deeps! Miss her sia! Weepido. yes i do! ahakx!3 more daes!! Ha! ayng!!. i miss eu !! Wei, ayng! smlm kater nk call. Tak call pon! Kater pkl 11pm call. Tk pon. Ouh. Bpk u tk bagi eh? alala. . . hehe. ayng, i miss u la!!! ergh! muah! abang!!!!!!!!!! fuck u! u know i miss you alot!!? Why must you put yourself into sucha deep trouble?!?! Ergh! You better get home on my burfdae eve or else. . wenever u get home, i'm gonna wack u! Hehe! No la. abang, get home a.s.a.p kae? I miss eu like fuck ar sial! Hariz oso misses u sey! Both Hariz. Muhd. Hariz have been askin alot abt you. HarizFarhan have been missing you like hell oso. You know its bored w/o ur presence? Do you know that? YOU SHOULD!! It is fuckin bored!! Even though wen u're at home, u do nothing. . ur presence means alot to me and the family plus our friends. Abang, i love you alot! Come back sooN!!!Haiz. Well, i guess i'll end my post here la. Long owedy sia. Kiez. Take Care ya'lls! Remember, pray for me to get well soon and err. . pray hard for my brother to get back home safely and soon k? Luv ya! *Tagg the board*Chaloz! XoXo Serenade
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Sunday, July 03, 2005
Missing you . !
Everytime wen I am down
I will turn around and I see no one
No one but you
You gave me light, you brought the sunshine in my life
I couldn’t ever repay you
Thanks for being there for me
Thanks for joking around with me
But all I ask now is for another round
For you to be here with me
I miss you like crazy!
I miss you like fuck!
I miss you like no other girls ever will!
You are my brother, you my friend
You are the leaning tower, you are the man!
Please come back as soon as you can
I need you back here
I really need you mann!
You’ve let me be loved, you’ve left me in pain
You’re the one I respect no matter what I’ve said
I miss you like crazy!
I miss you like fuck!
I miss you like no other girls ever will!
You are my brother, you my friend
You are the leaning tower, you are the man!
Abang, I just wanna say
I love you a lot.
It doesn’t seem like its true
But it is, its not out of the blue.
I told you I hate you
But deep inside I don’t mean it
You know how much I’m missing you
Please tell me you do.
I need you here
I need you now
Just please get here..somehow.
Nadiah needs you
Nadiah wants you
Nadiah misses you
Nadiah loves you
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Friday, July 01, 2005
You’re nowhere near who I thought you were at all, Not the person who cared, or even caught my fall.You took my love for granted, never really cared for me, I thought you were special, but now I’m here to bleed.I see you're a joke, but I assumed you were so much more, From what I’ve saw from you today, you're far from mature.
Self harm was a last resort, and I was left with no control, I’ve had to hide my wounds and prevent my tears that roll.I’m ashamed to say that you've hurt me to this extent; I’ve tried to be stronger, but the pain is too intense. I thought you'd be different from the other guys, That you'd never hurt me, but every word was just a lie.
You told me that you wouldn't dream of ever hurting me, I tried to keep my feelings solitude, hoping you would see.Wishing one day you'd realise that we were meant to be.But I had to know the truth, grew the courage to be upfront, Then when I tried to speak, you couldn't of been more blunt."What happened between us we used to be so great?""You wanted something serious and I just wanted fun"
So I mentioned how you'd changed, before we'd even split, You went offline in arrogance and this is what it did:I hit the walls as tears fell stronger than the day i left you.I grabbed a knife that was too blunt to even make me bleed.So I took a compass and drew it hard into my skin, The blood began to flow, once again my pain you did win.
Now that I have realised, I no longer want you back, Although I still have feelings, I’ll never get you back.I thought you'd be mature to speak of what we had before,But a month down the line, you chose to forget and ignore.I don't need a 'boy' like you, even if my feelings do change, This time I won't give up again, this time I’ll take the reign.
I hope you'll make mistakes and realise what you've done, Hope you'll learn a lesson, get hurt and be outdone.I no longer fear about who you may want or be with next, Because I’ll no you either lied to me or you just want sex.It’s time to turn my back, tread each day without you here, I’ll show you I don't rely on you, and that I will make clear.
I'll take each step rising higher than you could ever be, I will not speak one word to your face, just for you to see.That I don't need you beside me, for me to survive this life, But now I have the scars to come, I’ll no longer use the knife.Although I loved, hated and cared without you knowing, When I'm strong and sturdy, it'll be the strength that I’ll be showing. XoXo Serenade
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